So it’s that time of year where we are trying to eat healthy and let’s be honest….we all have to fight those holiday cravings. We set goals to eat healthier or to simply lose weight.… More
So this is the time of the year where parents are back in the grind of everything. Back to schoolwork, traveling back to school, dealing with countless minutes and hours in traffic. The time of the year where our schedules get extremely busy and crazy.
This is also the time of the year where we lose our self care. We lose the fact that we as parents, family members, sibling, daughters need to take care of ourselves.
This is the time of the year that we truly need to be in maintenance phase and restoration phase. Building ourselves back up.
But how can we take time for ME during this Frenzie?
Here are my 5 top things that I do focus on during the craziness of Back to School
- Planning is key
- It’s okay to say NO
- I battled with this for a long time. I was always chipping in, always try to help out, always trying to lend a hand to someone else. I quickly realize that I was leaving me out of the equation. It’s hard to take care of others when you are not taking care of yourself. At some point you will wear and tear your body down to the point that someone will need to care for you.
- Stop putting yourself LAST
- I use to always make sure that my girls were situated, use to always not only supply all of their needs but also their wants. I use to feel guilty if I took time out to get my nails done because I would think about how I should use it on them. I quickly realized that it’s okay to think about me too. I made sure that my girls had their needs and I also made sure I had all of my needs. I can not take care of them if I don’t take care of myself. By no means am I saying don’t do anything for your family or friends but saying don’t forget about doing something for yourself…And don’t you dare feel guilty about it
- Take care of the ONE BODY that you have on this earth
- So if you are like me budgeting is key..So when it is time to cut cost the first thing to go is Fitness especially if we belong to a gym or to a fitness facility. I contemplated it several times but I look at healthy eating, fitness and anything to do with spending money on healthy options the same way. I can either pay the money now with a great membership rate or I can spend the money later through doctor visits, cost of tests being run because of poor health. Now don’t get me wrong you definitely should shop around and live within your means. Which means if you can’t afford it right now shop around online there are so many sites that have exercise programs you can do at home, groups that offer home workouts. Just remember despite what may be going on physically or financially take care of your body.
- Live each Day OUT LOUD
- As much physical fitness that you need for healthiness you also need mental fitness and strength. Take time to tap into you…do what you love..enhance your mental. Living a stress life…removing stressors that can be removed. Do adventurous things, step outside of that comfort zone box.. Simply take time to Enjoy Life…You only get one life to live…So take time to Enjoy IT!!!
So often I am asked about my journey, how do I do what I do? How do I seem to keep it all together? I typically laugh and say, “Ummmm I don’t have it all together”
So as I was going to register my girls at school I just had a flashback moment of what the school year was like a year ago and then two years ago. My mindset was different in the past, I was excited, I was ecstatic about the school-year. However, this year was different this year I was nervous, I was scared, I was afraid.
Why you might ask?
There was a time before that my girls attended this very same school and the people there knew me as a different person, a different job role, different lifestyle and more. I was married with two girls, I was like supermom to them, athletic trainer, fitness guru and more. In their eyes I was all put together but in my head I was a mess. I felt like I had created this personification that I had everything under control, that I had everything together. Well fast forward….as the years continue to roll by I realized that I had to strip down, I had to show who I truly was. It wasn’t as if I was different but my life had changed, I wasn’t this married woman, well put together as I thought. I was running ragged…I was taking on two girls by myself financially and physically. I was trying to be that same person from before, I was trying to live that lifestyle that just wasn’t there anymore. I had to take a reality check, I had to meet myself from where I was in my life. I had to stop putting this shield up, putting this personification of who I wasn’t.
And then Yoga happen… I began my journey with @yogaoneclt with my dear friend and we took on the Assistant Training workshop/course. I realized in that course what Baron Baptiste says so eloquently…”Come as you are not as you think you should be” I knew that there was so much more to me. It was deep inside; I had lived a life that was other people’s lives. I was afraid to show who I was at that moment, I was afraid of what others would think of me. I was afraid that others would see that I didn’t have it all together, I was a mess, I wasn’t in the place that I use to be. Then the more that I surrounded myself with people who all had a story, who all were coming from various “Life happens” backgrounds, I knew that I too could strip myself from this personification of “Being a Person that everyone thinks I should be” or carrying this look that says I have it all together but in reality I didn’t. In reality I was a woman searching for answers, searching for True Happiness in which I realized later it was inside of me all along. I was transforming into this beautiful blossom.
I was blossoming…Why? Because I finally decided to rid myself of the What I should look Like…I began to Show Up as Who I was.. I began to truly spread my wings and come into the person that I was born to be. I began to find strength in self..inner strength in who I was born to be.
Come as you are at this moment…Come from within, shine bright of who you are today. The more that I have experienced in life, the more that I have truly found my inner strength, I found strength in self because there is no more mask, no more falseness…it is simply just me…Straight raw version of me. I am happy to be that person. I know that this thing called “Life” is shaping a molding me and showing the world what a BADASS I am. So if that means that I don’t look like, talk like or act like the person that people want to see then they don’t need to be in my circle because I am going to keep showing up as ME…Big Brown, Big Thighs, Big lips, Big smile African Queen that I am!!!!! Show up as who YOU ARE today and Who you want to BE!!!!!!
Strength in Self
I truly have learned what it means to Start Over…To begin again. I remember thinking awhile back that it was so hard to start over, so hard to begin again. I have realized that it’s okay to begin again. We actually begin again each day we wake up. Each day we start a brand new day it is our opportunity to begin again. Often times we want to seclude ourselves to what occurred yesterday, last week, last month or even last year. I have learned that in order to grow to move forward in life we have to begin again. We have to learn how to start over.
This year alone I have learned how to raise two girls on my own, start a new job, restart a training/running plan. I realized on my run the other day that I am stronger, wiser, brighter, felt brand new. It was all because I decided that it was time to change up, it was time to start over again, to start fresh. Often times to get out of the rut that we feel like we are in we have to start fresh, we have to begin again. So don’t sit in the past, don’t dwell in what happened years ago. Start fresh today, begin again today!!!
Patience….. we all lack it some times. We say we have patience but do we really have patience? I read a great quote the other day from my meditation through Calm it said, “It is not the thought of being patient but how we act during the patience. That resonated so deeply within. Often times we say we are being patient but yet we are driving ourselves insane during the patient process. We begin wrecking our brains back and forth trying to figure out the next move, trying to figure out what we need to do next, how to fix something that is broken, trying to make everything all better, trying to understand why we can’t run fast or do a strict pull up. Instead of just letting things be, taking time out to work on the task at hand, not being frustrated of why we can’t do something but work towards progressing to get better. It’s all about changing the things we can and allowing the things we can not change to work itself out.
I find myself like this with my workouts. As I was coming back from my injury I would get so impatient. I would think that I was being patient but in actuality I was being impatient. I wasn’t happy that my progress was going so slow. I wanted to be back where I use to be….right then and there. I would spend the majority of trying to figure out my next move. How I would train? What I would do? That was all great but while I was patiently waiting I was putting pressure on myself to be back to a person that I wasn’t going to be at that time. I needed to truly focus on what I could do in the here and now to get over my injury to get better. It was during that time that I realize it wasn’t just about being patient it was about the thoughts and things that I was doing or thinking while I was patiently waiting.
Realize that everything happens for a reason, realize that goals are not met in one day. We have to stay with the process, be patient, use the time during that patience to capitalize on the areas we need to capitalize on. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be this or to be that. Let the work and patience speak for itself….the results will show:)
With love and patience
So some of us have been there before where we have an injury that has caused us to be sidelined. I had this experience several times between an ankle sprain, rib strain, plantar fascitis and so on. This can cause a strain on your life if you are so use to doing activity. For me it was everything because fitness is a way of life for me..being involved in physical activity is what allows me to relieve stress. So when I learned that I couldn’t do anything then it was as if my whole life had gone down the drain. Now let me tell you all the different forms of activity that I typically do. I run, do crossfit, yoga, sometimes african dance (haven’t been in awhile), swimming lessons, bike and engage in other fitness activities. At one point in my fitness journey I was told that I couldn’t do any of the above. So imagine my face, my mouth drop as I didn’t know what in the world I was going to do with myself. I was so afraid that I was going to go into a depressed state of just sadness and sorrow that the very thing that makes me happy I couldn’t do anymore. So how did I last through this time? Here is how
5 Steps of staying SANE through an INJURY
- You have more time available so really put that time towards something else. I focused on really meditating.
- Focus on healing. It is important that you follow the doctor orders and really focus on getting better. So this would mean doing the things that the doctor order you to do, whether it is icing, heating, taking meds or doing rehabilitation.
- Focus on your nutrition. People are often misled and don’t truly understand the importance of nutrition not only for weight loss but also from a injury perspective. How you eat can determine how fast you will recover from an injury.
- Spend time with family, friends and love ones who often and sadly get pushed over to the side when you are truly training for an event or race.
- Most importantly focus on the overall healthy state, mind body and soul. So this is the time that you really look at your healthy lifestyle, what areas that I need to improve on, what am I going to do. Rewrite goals that not only include fitness but also some mental, and spiritual goals.
When you begin to incorporate overall wellness into your healthy lifestyle you are not just focusing on your body but also focusing on your mind and soul.
Injuries can cause so much disheartening to you and can be very difficult to stay focused on your healthy journey but you can overcome these hard times. It really takes developing a positive mindset and focusing your mind on becoming a healthier YOU.
For more information on Beyounique Online Training Programs- Getting you back on track from an injury visit the “Fitness Corner”
I absolutely love this word, “Carpe Diem” seize the day, seize the moment. Often times we get so caught up on what everything is going to look like, or we get caught up in what it should look like, how things should be. Instead we should be enjoying the moment, enjoying the present time, living in the present time. For me this was big because as life was handed to me I would think about what my life should look like. I would constantly ask myself,
What if I did this differently?
What if I do this?
What if I change this or change that?
Finally I had to shake myself and say, “Felicia, stop focusing on the what if’s, the should of, could of statements and start living in the now.”
Set your Intentions
Gabby Bernstein said it best, “Energy flows where your intention goes” Set your intentions on living in the moment, seizing the day. When we set our intentions on enjoying the journey, the day, the process then it becomes our reality, it becomes our here and now. I know that in order to be happy, to not lose your mind you have to set your intentions on these two words, Carpe Diem…..seize the day!
So let’s all join in together and live in the moment….Enjoy this Day… Carpe Diem!
Aah this one is a big one for me because I am easily distracted by the things that are going around me. I tend to lose focus.. tend to lose focus on what my goals are.. lose focus on what I would like my end result to be. I have learned through the years that in order to be successful, in order to reach your goals, reach that end result you have to stay focused.
Often times we get so distracted of what everyone else is doing, we begin to question whether or not we are being successful. We begin to question if we are doing things right. We ask ourselves
Do we need to change up something?
Do we need to just give up?
But what we often fail to realize is that we are not allowing ourselves to fulfill those goals, fulfill those dreams, fulfill those end results we are looking to gain because we are not focus on the task at hand. We are so worried about:
What everyone else is doing
Whether or not everyone else is a step ahead
Worried about whether or not we are just moving slow
We fail to realize that it is not that we can’t be successful, that we can’t fulfill that dream, it is because we are not focus on what we want, we are not focus on achieving the goal or dream that is set for us to achieve.
So stop comparing yourself to others, stop worrying about what others are doing, or how successful it may seem that other people are…Stay focused on your task, stay focused on your goal, stay focus on your end result that you would like to achieve. When we focus all of our energy, our time, our dedication and let it all play out that is when we start to see our lives unravel to where we want to be and who we want to be.
Stay humble and Stay Focused
So what does FIT look like?
It’s crazy as I was having this conversation today to someone about what is beautiful to them? What does it mean to be beautiful? What does it mean to look fit? Everyone has this common image in their head of what being FIT looks like. We compare ourselves to models and other images that social media has placed on us of what being FIT should look like.
I use to have the same image in my head of if I lose at least 20 more lbs then I will finally be FIT or look FIT. As I continued to work out and continued to fluctuate in weight I realized that I was chasing a destination not a way of life.
When I began this fitness journey I expected to look a certain way but as I continued to follow along with the journey I realized that fitness is not just physical. Fitness is a way of living, its creating a lifestyle that is healthy both physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally.When I began cross training more and really lifting weights I noticed my body was changing. I wasn’t skinny like I use to be, I was becoming thick. In my head I kept saying, “Fe you need to lose weight, you need to be in this size” Then I realized as I was putting my clothes on one day that my pants size was actually smaller than the size I was in before. I realize, “Fe you are healthy, you are strong now.” That is when it dawned on me that FIT doesn’t mean you are suppose to be certain size, it means that you are free of disease, you are healthy in both mind, body and spirit. I also began to realize the more that I focused on creating a healthy lifestyle for myself and my girls the more I became FIT.
So what does FIT look like for me?
You are looking at her……Healthy and Happy Person:)
I challenge you to find your FIT
So I often speak about this but in our fitness journey we are often taunted with our past or with the notion of what we can not do. However, we never really take the time to embrace the moment that we are in, the accomplishments we have made thus far. We are our biggest critics and we often put so much pressure on ourselves that instead of it encouraging ourselves we provide discouragement.
As I glance at this photo that was taken this year I begin to really be amazed at the sky and how beautiful it is. I also begin to really focus on the water and how peaceful it seems. I said to myself, “Wow this is simply beautiful”; just caught in the present moment of it’s beauty. So I really begin to equate this to our lives and thought to myself if I would just take a moment each day before I get started with my day and really embrace ME, LOVE ME and really begin to give compliments to myself. Do you know how motivating, invigorating and encouraging that would feel? Do you think I would have a positive outlook on what I have to do for that day? Of course I would, what people often fail to realize is that this healthy journey and lifestyle is not all about just how many workouts can you do; this journey is about mentally how do you feel about yourself. Do you tear yourself down each and everyday? Do you love yourself for who you are on THIS day?
So take time out each day and really sit back and Embrace the Present YOU! Be grateful, thankful and Love the NEW YOU.
- Love the changes your body is going through even if it is not where it needs to be.
- Love who you have become both inner and outer.
- Love the fact that you cared so much about your health and your body that you chose to change your life.
- Love the downfalls that you have gone through as it has only made you stronger.
So I ask you to really LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY but in order to do that you must first Embrace the Present YOU!
So how many times have you heard the statement, “You are what you eat” Well that is true. Often times in our fitness journey we get so stuck on how many miles we are running, or how much cardio we are getting in, or did we get that strength training workout in for today. Did you know…FIFTY percent of Black women develop Type 2 diabetes at some point during their lifetime (American Psychological Association), which means you can’t just workout. But what are we doing the rest of the day? How are we fueling our bodies from the workouts? What are we eating on the days we don’t get to the gym?
It’s a Puzzle Piece
Healthy Lifestyle is like a puzzle…..if there is one piece missing from the puzzle then that puzzle will not be complete. There are so many aspects that encompass a healthy lifestyle:
Did you know that each one of these categories can effect what you are putting on your plate? Not getting enough sleep…we typically resort to coffee, caffeinated drinks, food, snacks. What are you doing in each of this categories? How are you completing your puzzle piece? Is there a missing piece in your puzzle?
So the magic question is….How do I include all of these aspects into my healthy journey? How can I be a healthier me…looking and feeling great? Well it’s simply……But you’ll have to come check us out to here more about it…..
Join us on July 15th….
More about this event…
The Beauty Standard’ is a weekend happening, taking place on Saturday, July 15th, in the Queen City of Charlotte, NC. This event highlights women of color— with a focus on beauty, hair and happiness, finances, as well as overall health and wellness!
Hope to see you there